A whole new definition of “bug-eyed”

I was on the last leg of my walk with Boomer, my roommate’s dog, when a bug flew straight into my eyeball. So much in there that it might, in fact, still be in there. I felt it get sucked in from the wind tunnel the brim of my hat created and flew directly into the inner corner of my eye. I could feel it. It was cold which immediately shot goosebumps down my body. With my eye watering profusely, I bent over like I got shot. Bicycles are flying past me as I grip Boomer’s leash so he doesn’t clothesline anyone. I dig my finger into my eye but am unable to see through my phone camera to see if it is still in there, doing whatever a bug that just flew into eye juices does—biting at my cornea, laying eggs so near my brain, or defecating from pure fright. It was overwhelming going through the possibilities this bug was doing to me, assuming it didn’t get obliterated from the force of impact.

It’s then that I had a come to Jesus moment, minus the Jesus. A pure coincidence of fate can happen and alter everything. Unlike a car crash or elephant crossing, this tiny subtle realization hit me almost as hard as the bug did.  At any moment a bug can tunnel vision itself into my eyehole, burry itself behind my eye, and lay eggs for me to birth within weeks. My life may have changed its complete course due to this bug. I could be that thumbnail of a video on your Snapchat home screen, “girl’s eye engulfed by larva.” Ugh. It makes me shutter writing this with only 70% confidence that the bug is no longer in my eye.

So, you know what I’m going to do now? I’m going to live life like the bug is still in there, defecating, and counting down my days until the birth of its thousands of babies. I’m going to do exactly and only what I want. I’m going to buy myself ice cream even though I was just at the ice cream shop yesterday. I’m going to let my worries go because it could only be a short time until my time as a regular two-eyed girl comes to a close.

Thoughts of an insomniac Part 1

3:15 am

If I were a superhero my chosen superhero power would be to perform like I’m on Adderall without actually being on Adderall.

Ooo, that’s the show I’m going to start watching again, Flash.

Is margarita pizza the healthier pizza choice? It must be.

Maybe I should try to get prescribed some Adderall, I did score very on that online ADD quiz I once took. Damn, I think that Adderall documentary I just watched influenced me in the wrong way. But really, maybe I should…

So, if I buy food from work everytime I work at around $5 a night, that’s like $25/week, holy shit that’s $100 a goddamn month. Fuck it, I’m bringing in food tomorrow.

I have to remember to take the chicken out of the freezer tomorrow morning. Sets a reminder on phone. 

Yeah, I’m going to start designing my clothing line tomorrow. I definitely need a cool crewneck one. Is crewneck the word? I mean everybody loves a good sweater without a hood.

Looks at clock. 

…Ok, maybe I’ll try those breathing exercises I read about to help me fall asleep…googles breathing exercises for 10 minutes.

Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for seven, blow out for 8.

Three minutes later.

Did I refill that guy with a regular Pepsi when he was drinking diet?……yep.