Getting out of the car, I grab my backpack from the passenger seat and my large purse in one sweep and throw them over my shoulder. With the same hand, I grab my traveling coffee cup. In my attempt to swiftly get out of my car, my coffee mug decides it wants to check out the snowy asphalt and proceeds to spill its contents of wonderful blueberry coffee all over the ground. I feel powerless with both my large bags on one shoulder, and coffee now all over my boots. I sit there for a split second wondering how to pick up my cup. I feel my bags catching on things in my car, holding me back from easily picking up the open cup. I think it is a good idea to grab the top first, then realize it wasn’t the best move. My hand and more of my boots now are garnished with my blueberry coffee.
As I’m walking up the stars to my loft, still wet handed, I think of how this blueberry coffee spill is a great example of the struggles of my life. I often have blueberry coffee experiences. I frequently feel overcome with the un-organization of my life. 22 years young, I realize that my life consists of organized chaos/frustrations.
I lug around a large purse, filled with unnecessary items that have somehow found a home in my bag. They remain in my purse for one of the two reasons
1. Most likely, I didn’t take the time to analyze what is in my purse, so “trash” builds up.
2. I keep things in my purse for future needs (which rarely/never needed)
So, for those 2 reasons, I lug around a large purse filled with CRAP. Everywhere I go my right shoulder is slightly lower than my left from the weight of my purse. I’m wondering why I let unorganized efforts rule my life.
SO often I feel frustrated because “acts of the universe” get in my way. However, I am now seeing that these frustrations are because of my own organized/unorganized chaos.
I strive to be one of those people who have a house clean with no junk draws/cabinets/bedrooms. I really do try strive to keep my house clean. Maybe it has to do with the high score I got from an online ADD test…
That being said, I now SEE that my life feels chaotic because I make it chaotic. Not the best feeling this gives me, but at least I can’t blame the universe for every coffee spill/bags dropped/lost phone/messy room. This next week I will organize this chaos into something more easy.
In(Between) Dreams 