Looking at yesterday, you feel it brush against you.
Its touch is sticky.
That’s where you stood, how you lived.
The moments that brought you to today, sting
Because to stand where you stand now, took courage.
To have courage you had to be strong.
To feel your strength you must have lived in pain.
Because when you look at where you stood then,
You can see the ice cracking under your feet.
To this day you can feel the water take your breath away.
That cold, that damn cold will always run through your veins.
Looking at today, you feel it lay on you.
It’s where you stand, how you’ve landed.
Yesterday may always sting,
But look at you now
Standing on solid ground .
It’s what you get after you go through something that impacts you in such a way that it moves you, changes you, or inspires you. It’s like a patina that glazes over you as if you walked through a mechanical car wash. A film covers your body showing everyone what you’ve been through. Evidence of an experience. You can try to rid of it like so many of us hide what we truly are, but instead it now is your coat, your sheen armor that rather than protecting you, illuminates your vulnerabilities.
The patina itself is love. Or hate. Or sacredness. Or bravery. It’s something you now wear, painfully visible.
It happens when you let something consume you. The ear to ear smile from feeling loved, the pained face of heartache you can’t help but wear, the flinch that crawls up your body when you’re conditioned to expect the worse, or the broad shoulders you carry to prove to yourself you’re strong.
We all want an armor that will protect us. What we don’t realize is that what makes us strong is not what we wear to keep things at bay, but what we see as our truths. If we realize what they are, what we are, our vulnerabilities will make us stronger.
If your weakness is love, then you are prepared for a life of heartache, so you love harder. If you feel hatred, it means you have felt pain, which means you have cared deeply for something and that you can feel that way again. If you are scared, then you know your monster and can stare at it until it doesn’t scare you anymore. If you are brave, then you know what you stand for and have the strength to stand up for it despite any odds.
You are who you are. You have to embrace what you are, what you were, so you can become who you want to be.