This is it, the end of college. Shit. I mean, hooray!

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“I should ask them for a ride,” said the girl from my class as we were walking out of the building. She was talking about a pickup truck stopped at the stoplight  with 4 rowdy college boys in the bed of it–no tailgate. I laughed. (It’s one of the first nice days after dealing with yucky winter, so as you can see people were celebrating.) Then the next moment she is running across the street to really ask them for a ride! After a little budging, 3 guys inside open the doors and let her jump in. I laugh again in disbelief–mostly at the fact that she literally just jumped into a truck full of people she doesn’t know. (Now I know you may be thinking that a girl getting into a car full of strange guys isn’t the smartest, but keep in mind that this happened in broad daylight and Spartans tend to generally see the good in people.) 

After the light turned red again, I crossed the street and preceded to walk to my bus stop across campus. Along the way I couldn’t but help but think about that girl. Not that what she did was a bad or dangerous decision, but that I wish I could be as spontaneous as that. I would never do something that crazy and out of the blue. I mean, I do do spontaneous things sometimes, but never have I decided something that quick! That truck was waiting for the light to turn green. When I saw them, my only thought was “haha that’s funny.” While, this girl was already thinking about running over and asking them for a ride!

 

Lately, I have been searching for some inspiration.  Finishing up my last semester of college has got me seriously freaking out about the fucking future. I’m graduating from a Big 10 University, and I STILL don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. My plan was to have this figured out by now. It’s only been this last year that I have actually begun to enjoy my major. So, what should I do?

No idea here.

So. That is why I am searching for some inspiration. I need to find out what makes me excited about life. What makes me passionate. I have began to feel a lot of inspiration and passion for a business of mine, but I’m looking for even more. I’m looking for a  new mindset, and a happy balance in life. I know whatever journey I am about to embark on is not going to be easy. The lost and wandering college grad doesn’t get it’s bad rep from nothing. But, I’m actually excited about this part of my life. Now, that statement might totally bite me in the ass here soon, but I’m keeping an open mind.

So, back to the girl who jumped in the truck. She reminded me that life is about living! I gotta get out there! Too often I find myself cooped up not taking any risks. AND I’M SO BORED. Not to say that my life is boring, but I am bored with doing the same ol shit sometimes. I’m craving something brand spankin new, even if it scares the poop out of me.

Netflix, it’s been real. But I’ve gotta cut down our chill time. It’s not you, you’re great. Seriously, great. It’s me…

 

Hello…Universe?

So…This is me, hi.

Photo on 2014-08-13 at 12

I want to talk about a personal topic that I think many people go through. Tonight I’ve been having a lot of thoughts zooming around in my brain. Bottom line is this: I am the person I am because of the opportunities I took, and the opportunities I didn’t take.  I feel blessed to be at the place I am in life right now. I have a loving support system, and have people I love very much. I’m healthy. I’m young. I keep an open mind. But there’s a phrase that often enters my mind that absolutely terrifies me. 

“You have the whole world in front of you”

Those 9 words hold a lot of responsibility. Almost too much. I’m here thinking to myself, “how am I suppose to take control of that concept?” It sounds silly, I know. But those words hold a great deal of weight on my shoulders. I do infact, have the whole world in front of me! It’s my responsibility to turn that phrase into tangible reality! WHOA. Let me clarify what I feel like when I think about that concept:

So, lil ol me often has the crazy switch turned on in my brain. I’m trying so hard to figure out what I am suppose to do with the whole world in front of me. What am I suppose to do with my life? Am I suppose to join the peace core? Am I suppose to get a masters degree? Am I suppose to travel the world?

I guess this is me asking the universe WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?! 

I have a great vision for my future. I believe I have found a way to create the most success for myself, while helping out many people. I am very happy and excited about my business plans. Still, it’s like I have constant butterflies inside me fluttering around making me worry about everything. I worry about every little thing. Right now, I’m not worried that I made the wrong decision about the path I chose to take. I’m very secure and happy with my path. I’m worried that the universe has different plans for me, and I’m running the other way.

Does anyone else feel this way?! 

Even when you feel like the top of the world, do you ever have a feeling that you could be happier being/doing something else? It’s a strange concept to wrap your head around, I know, but I’m trying to make a point with all of this.

I think whatever path we choose to take in life is the right one. Sure, we might take the hard way. Maybe we’ll pass some major mountains and cliffs along the way. But the only way to see if you made all the right decisions in life is to jump off that cliff of uncertainty and believe that you can fly.

“Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.”
-mary kay ash

So maybe I’m answering my own question here. Maybe we don’t need to know the answer. Maybe we are meant to live life the way we choose to live it, and there’s no set plan in the universe for us. Maybe EVERY path is the right path. We just have to make that decision…