1 week

It has come to that beautiful point in the semester where classes magically are ending throughout campus. Finals week is a bittersweet experince…ok probably more like the kind of experience you forget about after it’s over because of the grueling memorization BS while trying to put together concepts from the entire semester…BUT after this week we enter into a world we dream of… SUMMER.

Michigan summers are by far my favorite–I may be a bit biased. But weekends up north, festivals in my parking lot, walks to downtown, and of course the general shenanigans with fellow adventurists are by far the best times of the year. So, here’s to y’all studying your little booties off this week!

Stay focused, take no (OK, minimal) Netflix breaks, pop that needed ADD fixer, and enjoy this week because it’s the week that’s in front of a wonderful sunny beginning.

Well fuck

Lately, I have been lost. Actually, my whole life, I have been lost. I have been happy, excited, and determined at times, but by the end of the day I can’t help but self analyze myself. I am a HUGE procrastinator, and I think my ADD is beginning to get the best of me (or at least now it is becoming exceedingly apparent).

For months I have sat on my couch contemplating where I should go next–in life. Then I quickly pick up the remote and turn on Netflix… I’m only now realizing how much of a toll this attitude is taking on me. I am PROCRASTINATING on moving forward. It’s easy for me to blame school, winter, and work for my inability to actually be the person I want to be. When people ask me what I’ve been up to I ALWAYS answer: “Oh you know, school and work…”. FUCKING WORST ANSWER EVER, and I’m SICK of it. I’m sick of saying it, and I’m SICK of thinking it. My mind has always been a mystery to me. Often I get lost in it, and wonder WHY THE HELL I am thinking that…

The point of this ramble is to help myself understand what the hell I want to do. By writing, some of my inner problems become real. I don’t feel so crazy for feeling like I left myself behind a while ago. But the truth is, that’s how I often feel. I used to look at myself and be glad for who I am, and who I have become. Now, I do feel grateful for my life and the people in it, but I now feel a vacancy within me that I don’t know how to even look at.

Some of you may know that these past 2 years I have been taking my stab at network marketing. And let me tell ya, IT HAS SUCKED. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret a second of it, and I have learned A LOT and have made some AMAZING friendships. I have discovered the profound power of personal development, even though lately I have swayed from utilizing its powers… In the end, I have discovered that network marketing is GREAT for some people. It could even be great for me at some point, but I hate doing it. Again, this goes into my own personal motivation and dedication issues. My network marketing peeps probably would see this as an excuse I am making for my failures, and I have to get over my shit and JUST DO IT. Well, that’s a valid point and in many ways right.

At this point in my life–this week– I have forgotten to enjoy the small beauties in life. I have forgotten to immerse the people I love with waterfalls of the appreciation and love they deserve from me. I have become a pass by girl who smiles at you, but doesn’t try to become your friend. I realize how awful this makes me sound, and I’m not a fan of my latest attitudes. But by writing this, I think I could maybeeeee relate with others? I am not about to say–like I have in previous posts/statuses–that now I am going to change and suddenly find this power within me to become the person I want to be, and then proceed to give advice to others about of what could be best for them. Because honestly, I think that’s a load of crap. It’s one thing to know what you need to do, and it’s one thing to try to inspire others by telling them what they need to do, and then it’s another thing actually living by your word inside and out. It’s hard as fuck. I thought I would be able to come across this divine feeling within me, and everything will end up ok. Maybe it will one day, but right now I’m not doing so hot.

As I look back at what I’m writing, and even as I’m typing, I think I may be getting at the wrong message I really am not trying to make a point, and I do not want to come off as whiney–even though I am seeing that I in fact am being whiney. The point of this post is not to have a message that others can learn from. This post is for me. For me to DO SOMETHING.  I need to feel like I am making some attempt to find myself. I want to find myself in my writing. I want to find answers in my writing. I want to affect people in a positive way. (And yes I am aware of all the “wants” I am writing) I think my mind is a bit fucked up, and totally scrambled up, but I also think that the way my mind works is great. It is chaotic, ADD driven, complicated, and full of care and compassion. But I am striving to weave in and out of the mess of my mind, and make something out of it.

So! To the people who have graciously continued to read this now over 800 word post, I will give you something. I will vow to blog my insane mind to you every week. Now, I’m extremely bad at keeping to something for more than 2 weeks, so please understand if my vow becomes a bit stretched out, but this is my first attempt. This summer, my goal is to become a daily blogger, and offer wise words of something. So since I have to start somewhere, I might as well start here. So here’s to this awkward journey, and forgive me in advance if I offend you with my thoughts. But then again…you are the one reading.

Blueberry Coffee ADD

Getting out of the car, I grab my backpack from the passenger seat and my large purse in one sweep and throw them over my shoulder. With the same hand, I grab my traveling coffee cup. In my attempt to swiftly get out of my car, my coffee mug decides it wants to check out the snowy asphalt and proceeds to spill its contents of wonderful blueberry coffee all over the ground. I feel powerless with both my large bags on one shoulder, and coffee now all over my boots. I sit there for a split second wondering how to pick up my cup. I feel my bags catching on things in my car, holding me back from easily picking up the open cup. I think it is a good idea to grab the top first, then realize it wasn’t the best move. My hand and more of my boots now are garnished with my blueberry coffee.

As I’m walking up the stars to my loft, still wet handed, I think of how this blueberry coffee spill is a great example of the struggles of my life. I often have blueberry coffee experiences. I  frequently feel overcome with the un-organization of my life. 22 years young, I realize that my life consists of organized chaos/frustrations.

I lug around a large purse, filled with unnecessary items that have somehow found a home in my bag. They remain in my purse for one of the two reasons

1. Most likely, I didn’t take the time to analyze what is in my purse, so “trash” builds up.

2. I keep things in my purse for future needs (which rarely/never needed)

So, for those 2 reasons, I lug around a large purse filled with CRAP. Everywhere I go my right shoulder is slightly lower than my left from the weight of my purse. I’m wondering why I let unorganized efforts rule my life.

SO often I feel frustrated because “acts of the universe” get in my way. However, I am now seeing that these frustrations are because of my own organized/unorganized chaos.

I strive to be one of those people who have a house clean with no junk draws/cabinets/bedrooms. I really do try  strive to keep my house clean. Maybe it has to do with the high score I got from an online ADD test…

That being said, I now SEE that my life feels chaotic because I make it chaotic. Not the best feeling this gives me, but at least I can’t blame the universe for every coffee spill/bags dropped/lost phone/messy room. This next week I will organize this chaos into something more easy. 

What holds you back?

Today I have been wondering what is holding people back from being their highest potential.

So I am going to speak directly to you.

Do you think what you are doing right now is the best thing you could be doing with your life at this moment?

How do you decide what the best thing to do is?

Do you know how much you are worth?

Do you believe you are worth more?

Are you scared of truly living? 

If “YES” to any of these questions, I highly recommend that you do some soul searching.

Be open to what the world and what the people in it have to offer you!

“Nah, I’m good” is what killed you

I have not been able to sleep in the past 2 weeks. 

And when I do sleep, I have dreams just as real as reality.

My life is changing.

My mind is changing.

Change is happening around me.

Guys, I haven’t watched Netflix in 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS. Not even like a 30 minute How I Met Your Mother! I mean something must be going on when your ENTIRE TEAM IS NOT SLEEPING.

“Something’s up”


I’m only going to say this once here: If your response to this opportunity is “nah, I’m good,” I promise you that you will find something else to do with your life, and I promise you that you missed an enormous opportuntiy. That’s it. That’s all it is. You said “nah” before you even looked into it! So, OK.

 The point is THIS IS BIG, so LOOK INTO IT. Ask questions. Be skeptical. Be smart. Be aware. CONTACT ME.

Hello…Universe?

So…This is me, hi.

Photo on 2014-08-13 at 12

I want to talk about a personal topic that I think many people go through. Tonight I’ve been having a lot of thoughts zooming around in my brain. Bottom line is this: I am the person I am because of the opportunities I took, and the opportunities I didn’t take.  I feel blessed to be at the place I am in life right now. I have a loving support system, and have people I love very much. I’m healthy. I’m young. I keep an open mind. But there’s a phrase that often enters my mind that absolutely terrifies me. 

“You have the whole world in front of you”

Those 9 words hold a lot of responsibility. Almost too much. I’m here thinking to myself, “how am I suppose to take control of that concept?” It sounds silly, I know. But those words hold a great deal of weight on my shoulders. I do infact, have the whole world in front of me! It’s my responsibility to turn that phrase into tangible reality! WHOA. Let me clarify what I feel like when I think about that concept:

So, lil ol me often has the crazy switch turned on in my brain. I’m trying so hard to figure out what I am suppose to do with the whole world in front of me. What am I suppose to do with my life? Am I suppose to join the peace core? Am I suppose to get a masters degree? Am I suppose to travel the world?

I guess this is me asking the universe WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?! 

I have a great vision for my future. I believe I have found a way to create the most success for myself, while helping out many people. I am very happy and excited about my business plans. Still, it’s like I have constant butterflies inside me fluttering around making me worry about everything. I worry about every little thing. Right now, I’m not worried that I made the wrong decision about the path I chose to take. I’m very secure and happy with my path. I’m worried that the universe has different plans for me, and I’m running the other way.

Does anyone else feel this way?! 

Even when you feel like the top of the world, do you ever have a feeling that you could be happier being/doing something else? It’s a strange concept to wrap your head around, I know, but I’m trying to make a point with all of this.

I think whatever path we choose to take in life is the right one. Sure, we might take the hard way. Maybe we’ll pass some major mountains and cliffs along the way. But the only way to see if you made all the right decisions in life is to jump off that cliff of uncertainty and believe that you can fly.

“Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.”
-mary kay ash

So maybe I’m answering my own question here. Maybe we don’t need to know the answer. Maybe we are meant to live life the way we choose to live it, and there’s no set plan in the universe for us. Maybe EVERY path is the right path. We just have to make that decision…

What Color Are You?

Having trouble figuring people out? Do you get frustrated, and get confused why some people just do not see things the way you do? Well guess what? We all have had this issue. Whether it be for professional uses, or personal, I am going to help you figure out how to help people see things the way you do. You will want to write this down.

To communicate with people you need to understand what type of person they are. People are segmented into four different colors. Each color has distinct characteristics and personalities.  Now bear with me. I am going to exaggerate a bit so it will be easier for you to remember each color characteristic. Each color has good and bad parts, so please don’t get offended by these exaggerations.

Yellow

These people love to help. These people live to help. They are the caring, easy going people. Yellow people are the ones who are right away giving you a hug, and asking if you need anything to make you more comfortable. Yellows are not going to be overly concerned with money. They will actually feel offended if you continue talking about money, and how great it can be for them. They will not go out of their way to make a lot of money for themselves unless it’s for a greater good. Yellows strive to HELP others. 

Blue

These people love to partyBlues are always looking for fun. They easily look past things in order to obtain an adventure, experience, or opportunity. Blues are people persons. They love any chance they can get to meet new people. Blues are very outgoing and meet lots and lots of people. Often, these are the people who talk non stop, and don’t listen to what others are saying. Blues are constantly looking for excitement, and love to travel.

Red

These people need to feel like they are in charge. They need, and strive, to be the boss. Reds are very focused people. Money and success are very important to them. Reds are organized, and know what they are doing. They always have the right answer to everything. These are the people who will take charge in a situation, and present themselves as leaders.

Green

These people are the thinkers. Greens tend to live boring lives. They are socially challenged, and try to avoid people at all costs. They love information and facts. Greens have to convince themselves about things. You are going to have to be very patient with greens because they want to learn everything about everything. Greens come off as having little to no personality. 


As you can see, each of these colors have good and bad sides. Yellows are caring, but are soft spoken. Blues make great loud leaders, but don’t pay attention to detail. Reds know where they are going in life, but have too much pride. Greens are intelligent thinkers, but lack social skills.

Identifying what color people are can be a huge benefit to your communications. Especially if you want them to see something you see. 

You don’t have to act like colors that you aren’t, but you should learn how to talk like them so you can communicate successfully with different people.

It’s OK if people are more than one color. Sometimes, people are dominantly one color, and have aspects of other colors. Utilize the information you collect about people. Study people to understand how to communicate with them.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOU?

Personality Color Chart